Category Archives: light hearted fun

mammograms in the park


 So I woke up this morning and heard a big hullabaloo in the park and went over to investigate. The City had set up bioscan truck and were giving free mammograms.

free mammograms


 There was quite a large crowd and seeing as how the Doctors were having a hard time I offered my services with my own mammogram machine… but they didnt appreciate it and even threatened to call the gendarmes….



Some people are just sooooooo unappreciative…

hmmmm…. maybe I’ll use this at the Halloween costume party.


going to the MO


Back last Spring Steve (my blog partner), his wife Pat and myself went to visit some American expats and fellow bloggers in Xico, Veracruz. Steve by the way is quite ill and if you know him drop him a line.

Anyway,  as it turned out there were no hotel rooms available in Xico so we went towards Coatepec and our friend John told us he knew someone who owned a Motel not too far away and we could probably find rooms there.

Now if you know Mexico you’ll know that the word Motel  has sinister connotations, the majority of them arent meant for overnight stays but are basically used for romantic rendevous or unfaithful “trysts”.


But any port in a storm right? So we went and they had rooms available… during the night I felt as if someone were staring at me so I cut on the light and behold!!! It was me…there was a mirror over the bed.

Even more unusual there was a HUGE Istitution size roll of toilet paper in a dispenser right beside the bed….hmmmm! Should I take a crap in the bed????

I discussed this with Steve the next day….  Amazing, he said, “Theres no Toilet Paper in the bathrooms in Mexico but there’s paper besides the beds”.

And to top it off, when we left the next morning to go find a place to eat breakfast, a guy selling tortillas passed by and stared at us… I could just see what was going through his mind…”What are these three Senior Citizens doing coming out of this motel together??? Perverts!!!!

Just another adventure in Mejico Majico….!!!!



This is one of those not much happening days. So make a Margarita & relax.

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Don’t get too serious


 getting serious will cause stress, run your blood pressure up and kill you. ease up and read this.

here is an excerpt from a children’s book written by Dave Pilkey….titled…”Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants”.  The Professor forces everyone to assume a new name

Let’s see what your name will be. 

(1)…. use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a)= poopsie                   n)= zippy

b)= lumpy                     o)= goober

c)= buttercup                p)= doofus

d)= gidget                      q)= slimy

e)= crusty                      r)= loopy

f)= greasy                      s)= snotty

g)= fluffy                       t)= tulefel

h)= cheeseball                  u)= dorkey

i)= chim-chim                    v)= squeezit

j)= stinky                         w)= oprah

k)= flunky                        x)= skipper

l)= boobie                         y)= dinky

m)= pinky                          z)= zsa-zsa


Now, use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a)= apple                       n)= rhino

b)= toilet                      o)= bubble

c)= giggle                      p)= hamster

d)= burger                     q)= toad

e)= girdle                       r)= gizzard

f)= barf                         s)= pizza

g)= lizard                       t)= gerbil

h)= waffle                      u)= chicken

i)= cootie                        v)= pickle

j)= monkey                       w)= radish

k)= potty                         x)= tofu

l)=liver                            y)= gorilla

m)= banana                       z)= stinker


Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a)= head                     n)= chunks

b)= mouth                   o)= hiney

C)= face                     p)= biscuits

d)= nose                     q)= toes

e)= tush                      r)= buns

f)= breath                   s)= fanny

g)= pants                      t)= sniffer

h)= shorts                     u)= sprinkles

i)= lips                          v)= pickle

j)= honker                      w)=squirt

k)= butt                         x)= humperdink

l)= brain                         y)= brains

m)= tushie                       z)= juice


George Bush’s new name is:

Goober Chickenshorts….. what’s yours??

have a good day… Sincerely your moderater…

Lumpy Bubblehumperdink

the captain

the captain